The Food That Made Me

Kids, always prepare for surprises, aka have a backup plan, aka be prepared for the worst. This won’t be the last time that I tell you guys this.

So, it was 9 pm two nights ago. I had already cooked for a few hours and washed all the dishes. Everything was beautiful and done. I just needed to wait for the soup to finish in the Instant Pot. There were 24 minutes left on the timer.

So, I took Emi outside to go potty, called her upstairs, and gave her a few treats. She loves this bedtime routine. Then, I brushed my teeth and used the Neti pot because it is allergy season. I went downstairs and decided to release the pressure of the pot. I decided to release it all at once because last time, when your grandparents were here, I did it really slowly, and that worked, so I figured, what could go wrong by just releasing it all at once? Apparently everything!

Here is the aftermath. Fatty oil solids were flying out of the Instant Pot and covering everything inside! Emi was scared because of the weird noise it was making. And then clean up began at 9:30 pm. I was frustrated because all of the dishes I had just hand washed were now covered in an oily layer of muck.

I got mad at your mommy because she said that it was “so messy.” And, I got angry because that part is obvious and sounded like judgment. Some empathetic or encouraging words would have been nice instead such as “Aw. That sucks.” or “You got this honey!” We are still learning the dance of communication and not to think that our spouse is responding out of ill intent. I apologized for being frustrated.

It is bone marrow and beef neck bone broth, so it wasn’t anything new. The water level was around the same level, which, to be fair, is always close to the max. So, I’m not positive what caused this calamity.

Here are a few working theories:

• The water level was too high.
• The bones created impurities that rose too high.
• Maybe I needed to wait a few minutes before depressurizing.
• The soup gods were having some fun with me.

But I’m lost. Maybe I’ll Google or YouTube it. If you don’t know what they are, look them up in the Archives.

In the future, for soups, I’ll probably just let it depressurize itself.

Moral of the story: prepare for surprises! The kitchen may decide to revolt against you. And consider wearing an apron, because I didn’t. Daddy, out.