The Food That Made Me

Discretion is Advised: The following talks about disease and death. From the title of the post, you wouldn’t have guessed it. Are you old enough to read about disease and death? If not, please wait a week to read my next post. But, star this to read it later. Again, it is a gem.

July 23, 2025

Kids, I have found a new tradition. I am writing it here to manifest it, per say. Or, I’m just putting it in writing so that mommy remembers how good of a time we had so that she will want to do it more often.

We are currently at Jedediah Smith State Park area, near the coastal border of California and Oregon. Fun fact: Crescent City has been voted one of the most depressing cities in America because of its constant fog and mist. Also, because of its prior tsunami. To some of the locals, it is hell. To your mommy’s family, it is heaven because they only go in the summer every two years. The tradition was started by mommy’s grandparents. We will see if the younger generations will continue the tradition after the grandparents die, at some point. Traditions change sometimes when that happens. If they stopped going, there would be grieving because they claim to have been going for 40 years. So that would be about 20 times.

Another reason why they may not continue the tradition is that there are more rules now, and by the time you are of reading age, you should recognize that your mommy’s family is bad at following rules. But, Daddy is really poor at reading and following instructions, so I guess incompetence is all around? That also goes for the people making the rules. They sometimes don’t make very good rules. Kids shouldn’t need to wear helmets when they are just on kick scooters, because if they crack their heads open, it is their parents’ fault. However, people riding scooters that can go past 15 miles an hour absolutely need helmets because any collision will definitely hurt. Your mommy’s family’s mantra is that if they die, they get to see the good Lord quicker. I do wish that I could convince your mommy of the same logic for me. But, apparently, Mommy wants me to grow old with her. So, I guess I won’t be seeing the good Lord any time soon. I was discussing with your Mommy yesterday that I would probably not want to die by getting hit by a bus, but because of a terminal illness. No, we can’t be one of the lucky ones who die in their sleep without any pain or suffering. I want to be able to say my goodbyes to my friends and family and eat my last meals. Believe me, they will be delicious and epic last meals.

Ok, enough digression. I went to play 18 holes with your Mommy yesterday. We rolled up to Del Norte Golf Course. There are no tee times and you can just walk on. Also, you can play as a single if you want. This would be music to my brother-in-law’s ears. I had only four clubs with me. I should have brought a longer club, though. There were quite a few long holes, and a longer club would have been nice. It was technically a 9-hole course, but you can play it twice to get 18. It is beautiful, being surrounded by the redwoods. I was hitting my irons pretty solid. I just love the sound of irons when I strike them well. Mommy and I were enjoy our conversations here and there while Mommy walked along with me, handed me water, and rested at the benches. After the fourth hole, mommy and I, both sweating and a bit tired, regretted signing up for 18 holes. The sun was out, and I needed to take my jacket off to prevent overheating. I was mainly just getting bogeys and double bogeys. Next time, I hope to shave off a few strokes. I needed my rangefinder to confirm the distances and to have a longer club.

After 9 holes, we went in for lunch. We had to wait for a while for the cook to be back. Maybe he was finishing up his round? But it was a very friendly course with lots of locals. I looked at the plaques of the annual women’s tournaments, and I saw that some ladies had won for almost a decade straight. I ate my small cheese and chicken quesadilla with guacamole for seven dollars. Honestly, I was full and satisfied. I don’t have a strong appetite in hot weather. In order to not get heat stroke, I got myself a Gatorade and treated myself to an orange push pop.

I played the first hole while eating it. Midway through, the popsicle dropped on the ground. Mommy just laughed, and I was just sad that my glove was all sticky now. I very much enjoyed being with Mommy. There were some holes where I hit it a bit left, and then she would say that I had the right distance if it were straight. I just glared at her multiple times.

There were a couple of missed short shots, but that was because my mental game broke down. I recovered after a pep talk with mommy. I got a few pars and a birdie on a par three after holing a long putt. Despite telling me that I should have just hit shots straight (I wasn’t trying to hit them not straight), I did enjoy Mommy being my caddie as she was good at reading how slopes would turn and show fast the greens may be. During the last 5 holes, I think I played with a sprained wrist. It was hurting, so I was trying to do shorter shots. I still hit better than I thought. We ended the 18 holes, and I was pretty happy with myself and enjoyed time with mommy.

Then, I was dreaming about building/ owning a golf course. Too much work, and the margins are not great because grass grows and dies and needs to be maintained. Thank you to the beautiful and wonderful green and groundskeepers. I hope you guys get paid well. I think I want to own an indoor driving range. It would need to be .2 miles long and .2 miles wide and about 20 stories high, assuming that people can drive it 300 yards both in length and width (because of hooks and slices, i.e., going left or right.) I’m not sure how high people would be skying the balls. I would also want some pitching, chipping, and putting areas. My version of an indoor driving range will be quite a feat. It may even be large than a lot of stadiums. Sadly, I don’t think that the profit margin for this would be too high either.

For now, I want to get some new golf clubs as Uncle Croquette is starting to learn golf. I really want a whole new set of clubs because my clubs are from high school. During this trip, I have gone bananas trying to research what I want, and I’m down to just getting second-hand clubs. Like Pokémon, I feel like I want to catch them all. They are so beautiful. Also, I have been looking up course management strategies and really trying to not think so linearly while play, aka what is the shortest distance to the hole and how far I can hit it.

Moral of the story: I pray that you guys will like golf and food when you guys grow up. If not, we can still have family outings on golf courses where you guys just walk with mommy while daddy plays. Daddy can use more caddies and advice. Also, daddy will keep telling himself that he was handicapped and that he could have gotten a few strokes off every time if he wanted.

P.S. Golf is exercise because you are walking 4+ miles with 40 pounds on your back. No one else was walking that day. Everyone else had a cart. They weren’t exercising.

P.P.S. My wrist still hurts after a month. Tears.