The Food That Made Me

Kids, unfortunately, you will remember your mistakes more than your successes. Daddy is really good at compartmentalizing his feelings, but some things still bring me shame and trauma. I guess I should talk to your mommy about that? Here’s a little background before the trauma.

Bird nest soup is a delicacy in Hong Kong. Preparation is really tedious because it is the literal spit of swallows. So, you have to clean it really meticulously before consuming.

Everyone says that it is great for your skin because it increases collagen production. I remember asking my dad’s mother, your great grandma, for bird nest soup porridge as a child when being asked what I would like to eat. Here’s a little context on what that ask is like. It currently costs around $30 per piece. And the preparation takes a day. I guess my grandma could have cheated and thrown some instant ones in there and mixed it with the porridge. How would I know? I was like 5. Maybe we just got a pineapple bun or a noodle soup instead.

Oh. I how I miss this delicacy. The rock sugar. The blue ceramic bowl. It was just a gorgeous sight. It was made in a sealed ceramic jar, then submerged in a larger pot of boiling water using a double boiling method called 炖 (dùn). This technique prevents nutrient loss, keeps broth perfectly clear, and concentrates flavors.

Back to my trauma, I must have been like 8 or 10 years old. I was bouncing a tennis ball against the wall. My mom had just finished making the bird nest soup and placed a bowl on the table. The ball landed on the bowl and spilled some of it. I got a good yelling at, and I don’t really recall getting yelled at very much. So, this time stuck. Granted I understand now why she was angry, but back then I had no idea how much effort it took to prepare that one precious bowl.

Here is how to make it.

1. Take one dried piece of bird nest and soak it in water.
2. After soaking it overnight, use tweezers to pick out any black hair and debris that may be there. Warning: this may take a couple of hours at first.
3. Take the bird nest and put it into a ceramic jar. Add sugar and milk or water. Double boil it for 5 minutes. You can really play around with this step because the bird nest just soaks in all of the flavor. But I usually just keep it simple with rock sugar and water.

Even though the mistakes stick more, I pray that your successes will also start sticking. Daddy has been working on self-compassion lately. I grew up with a shame culture, and I followed a shame-based religion. So, nothing is ever good enough, and mistakes and failures stick very strongly. But I hope the same is not for you. You can’t change the past, so be proud of yourself, count your blessings, and take life one step at a time.

My younger, older sister made it for me. It tasted really great and nostalgic. There were big chunks of bird nest. But each time, I still remember to truly savor each bite because it was made with love and patience.